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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

You've Worked Too Long As A Vet When....

Part of my goal for this blog is to peel back the curtain of veterinary medicine and let people see what the life of an average vet is like. For those outside of the profession this may be a bit of an eye-opener at times as you see things that you never realized. This may be another of those times.

A friend of mine who is also a vet comes up with some great humorous lists that always have surprising truth in them. I saw him post this list a few days ago and really laughed at it. There are many things here that non-veterinarians (or their staff) simply won't understand or find funny. But those of you who have been in the profession for any length of time will likely laugh out loud. One of the most amusing thing about this list is that it is completely and utterly true...and to those of us in veterinary medicine, that truth is what makes it funny. Enjoy!


You look at a cardboard box and recognize its coffin potential.

You go out to a club and when the black light comes on you check yourself for ringworm.

You can eat lunch while cleaning up a Parvo blowout.

You can keep your milkshake frozen in the freezer around the dead bodies.

You take your kids temperature and think 102 is normal.

After seeing what goes into the washing machine at work, your own laundry doesn't seem so dirty.

Your work clothes look like your pajamas.

You open your lunch container and find a spleen.

You have no problem eating your lunch on the wet sink where they have just finished a necropsy.

All of your pets are either 3 legged, lame, or blind in one eye.

You've done an anal probe on a bird.

You can detect maggots at 100 paces, just by the smell.

To you, pets are more recognizable than their owners are.

When eating and you find a hair in your food, you pull it out and keep eating.

The first thing you wonder when opening up a big cat abscess is, "Where are the Ritz crackers?"

You cough up hairballs.

You are the first one in the hospital in the morning and you don't notice the smell.

You start to like the smell of anal glands.

You can play connect the dots with all of your scars and puncture wounds.

When NORMAL people won't eat meals with you.

You get the flu and begin to sympathize with the Parvo dog.

Your paycheck barely covers your food bill, but ALL of your animals eat a premium brand food!

Your medicine cabinet holds nothing but animal medications.

You have ever picked up Poop with your bare hands.

You can put a muzzle on with one hand tied behind your back.

You know that "pink juice" and "blue juice" are not flavors of kool-aid.

You get a rash from just LOOKING at a Shar-Pei.

You can take a dog's rectal temperature without looking.

No one asks you what you did at work today while you're eating dinner.