Translate This Blog

Friday, October 30, 2009

Brad's Guide To Veterinary Medicine

A vet I know named Brad sent me a list of 31 rules he has developed over a lifetime around veterinary medicine (his father is also a vet).  Here are a few of the choicer ones.  These are all tongue-in-cheek, but also give some profound truths about life as a vet.

Rule #6--The condition is never an emergency until 3 a.m.

Rule #8--The more money spent on procuring the animal, the less spent on maintaining it.

Rule #11--The more ignorant the client, the more certain they are that they know more than you do.

Rule #12--The nicer the clothing, the more nasty, disgusting, and malodorous a procedure you will be asked to perform.

Rule #17--If the client does not comply with orders and the animal gets worse or dies, it is your fault.

Rule #18--All lesions occur overnight ("Really, Doc, he was fine yesterday").

Rule #24--Any unexplained illness seen in a pet is the direct result of the spay/neuter you performed 3 years ago. ("I don't know, Doc.  He was just fine until you neutered him back in '95.")

Rule #26--No matter how late you stay open, or how many days your office is open, there's always one client that will show up 5 minutes before closing with a patient that's been sick for 3 weeks, and complain that you're not open late enough.

Rule #27--Four years of veterinary school cannot possibly compare with the 15 minutes of training that the high-school drop-out got at the pet store.

Rule #28--Consciousness is a privelege; if you abuse it, it will be taken from you.

Rule #30--It is a geophysical phenomenon that all of your clients live only 5 minutes away from your hospital if it is within 30 minutes of closing.

Hope you enjoyed them as much as I did. I know that my veterinary readers will appreciate this in a special way!


  1. Those are great. And sadly all too true. I especially love when something started "yesterday."

  2. Just shows that people are the same all over the world!

  3. I laughed out loud more than once reading that. Great post!


Thank you for making a comment on my blog! Please be aware that due to spammers putting links in their comments I moderate every comment. ANY COMMENTS WITH AN EXTERNAL LINK NOT RELATED TO THE TOPIC WILL LIKELY BE DELETED AND MARKED AS SPAM. If you are someone who is posting links to increase the traffic to another website, save me and you the time and hassle and simply don't comment. To everyone else.....comment away! I really do enjoy hearing from readers!